But something told me to run and honey you know me, it's all or none

You know, I never imagined myself being on of those girls who changes her mind every five minutes about things that actually matter. I suppose I have still dodged that bullet but I've become someone who is more flakey than I want to be. Or maybe I'm just having an off day...I don't know! I woke up this morning with a very odd feeling in the pit of my stomach. Not that I felt like I was going to toss my cookies or anything, but just that something was different. And I can feel myself changing my mind on something that is very important to me. Or was? See?! Now I don't know.
I've always been one to change my mind a lot. I'm not very good at judging people when I first meet them. Not judging them, but assessing whether or not I like them or whatever. A lot of people that I originally did not like very much, sometimes even thought I hated, turned out to be people that I care more for than anything else in the world. So as it turns out, I can't really trust my gut instinct.
Even the petty small things like....I used to hate pickles. And Indian food. But then I went on a pickle binge about three or four years ago and now I love them! Same thing with Indian food...little things like changing my taste in food seem so easy to get over. It's not a big deal that you suddenly don't mind chomping away on a vinegar-y cucumber.
BUT THIS! This is a big deal! What am I supposed to do now that my mind is reeling and I suddenly feel like I've been wasting all this time? Literally just when everything was really going perfectly...and I mean perfectly I wake up feeling like this. UGHHHHHH I could scream! Why can't our minds just stay the way they are, thinking about things one way and sticking to it. That would make life so simple and easy. That's all I want. And I know yes, "life isn't fair" YADA YADA YADA but could it just be this one time? Just for the next couple months, can all the stars align and all that crap and things just work out? Can I please have one carefree summer? No.
I apologize, this wasn't very much of a babble, it was more of an angry rant than anything else.

Thanks for reading (though) :)
Love,
Rachel

p.s. listen to a song called "Where I Stood" by Missy Higgins. awesome!