Today's song: Love by Matt White
I haven't been on here in quite a while. Going back and reading my past few entries makes me realize how much can change in such a small amount of time. I feel completely different than I did when I wrote my last entry...that's not to say it's a bad thing or I don't still care about the person I wrote about, I just realize now that it was one of those "not meant to happen" situations. And for once in my life, I can feel myself maturing and not throwing a fit about it. I'm at a good place in my life and I'm so happy to just be.
But back to what I started with, it's so strange seeing things changing so fast around me - whether they involve me or not. I'm not sure if I've written anything about it yet but my sister got engaged recently. Things like that, aren't they funny? One day he's just her boyfriend and she's just his girlfriend. They're living together, they love each other, that's all well and good. But then the next day comes and they have made a promise to each other...to make a promise to each other to spend the rest of their lives committed to one another. It's beautiful, isn't it?
I've also noticed more and more people posting picture of their new babies on Facebook, which personally I find very cheesy and useless but I digress. Still, it makes me stop for a minute and look at that baby's face - a chubby little combination of the love of his or her parents. That's probably the most drastic thing I can think of. Actually finding out you're pregnant is one thing, but I imagine one day having a giant belly and the next coming home with an entirely new human being, a piece of you, it must be such an extraordinary thing! I think that all the time when I see babies or hear about someone finding out they're pregnant. It must be so overwhelming, but I imagine it to be so in a way that is the most marvelously overwhelming feeling in the world. Like being in love!
Yet another funny instance of things changing quite suddenly. One day I was buying tequila that was on sale and getting very drunk with my best friend, the next thing I know I'm going out with my old crush and falling in love with him like I am fifteen all over again. Only this time it's wonderful. It's can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, World Series kind of stuff. It's like nothing I've ever experienced before and it feels so good. It's making me appreciate what I have and it's teaching me to just be happy for what is. It's a huge change in my life and I'm so grateful and lucky to have it. It was so sudden and the feelings we exchanged were so rapidly decided but it is honestly the happiest I have ever felt in my twenty-one years. Not that I'm complaining about the speed or intensity of how it all happened though...it seems some of the greatest things humans can experience in life (i.e. falling in love, sharing that love with a child) can happen so quickly and change you so drastically. But that's why they're so great and fun, right?
Love,
Rachel
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