Today's song: The Scientist by Coldplay
Firstly, I have to say that today's blog song is my absolute favorite song in the entire world...of all time. And it forever will be. It flows out of my speakers with the most beautiful music and lyrics that pull at my heart in a new way each time I listen to it. I don't think I've ever listened to it and felt the exact same way as another time. I don't know if that makes any sense but I'm not concerned. That song feels like coming home. It feels like wrapping yourself up in the most emotional place you can think of. It feels like falling in love. It feels like letting go. It feels like all the best things in life mixed in with the most painful. It feels like Coldplay at its finest.
Secondly, I'd like to venture into the world of a perfect cry. I don't know about the male species, but I know females and I know that every once in a while, we all need to just sit ourselves down, think about something sad, and have a nice little sob and cry out everything we're feeling until we feel like we don't have anything left to cry. It's like the most confusing thing in the entire world. I mean, how can sobbing uncontrollably for fifteen minutes make a person feel better? I'm not sure about the psychology behind it but I do know that I broke myself down this evening and let myself revel in the greatness of this so called perfect cry. I put on my best sad music and thought about things that have been bothering me recently and I just let it all out. It was painful to say the least, but the whole time I knew that I'd feel better when it was all over.
Thirdly, I want to talk about things coming to an end. You know, whenever I think of something being over, I've never had it actually be completely one hundred percent over. Things always have a way of making themselves known again for me and I'm not quite sure yet if it's a blessing or a curse. I guess no matter how many times I can tell myself that this is it, it never truly is. It's like there's some unearthly control over my heart, fighting against my brain's will power. And usually my head stands defeated. People are always saying that things just have a way of ending or panning themselves out until there is nothing left. But to counter that, I'm always saying that things have a way of coming back, whether they should or not (yet again, I'm really not quite sure if that's good or bad). I'm really rambling here, as usual. I tend to never be able to use words to describe exactly how I'm feeling or say exactly what I want to say. It's like my mind cannot keep up with my feelings. Maybe that's my problem. Basically in any situation where I am giving a choice between using logic or emotion, I will instantly choose emotion. I was born in March which makes me a Pisces...I'm pretty sure they're supposed to be emotional people so maybe that has something to do with it, after all. I don't know if this is making any sense or if it's in any way coherent. I'm not even sure if anybody is reading this...or if anyone ever will. But I am saying what I want to, no matter how difficult it is or whose feelings I hurt (even if they're my own) or how hard it might be for others to understand.
Thanks for reading
Love,
Rachel
p.s. F, if you're reading this, I miss us already
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